Newsletter – Learning from our Mistakes- October 30, 2026

I was working with my grandson this week. Like most kids (and adults too), he doesn't like to be wrong.

He's not belligerent. Far from it. He just gets teary-eyed when he makes a mistake.

And I think that's part of why it takes so much effort to get him to read.

Reading means risking being wrong. And for a child who wants so badly to get things right, that can feel pretty overwhelming.

Bright kids can be especially hard on themselves. They're often painfully aware of what they perceive as their shortcomings.

Does this sound like a child you adore?

Is there a child in your life who resists reading or writing with you? Who hesitates, shuts down, or gets upset when something doesn't come easily?

Even if they seem to be doing okay in school, pay attention to that resistance. It may be telling you something important about their confidence, and what they need most might be a safe place to be wrong.

When I was a classroom teacher, I loved creating that kind of environment.

One year, we welcomed a new student who became embarrassed after saying or doing something that didn't meet his own expectations.

Before I could say a word, one of my students spoke up.

"Oh, don't worry. We celebrate mistakes in Room 205. That's how we learn."

The other kids chimed in with yeahs, and nods, and smiles.

I swear I could hear heaven's angels rejoicing!

It was one of the greatest affirmations of my teaching career. In that moment, I knew I'd done something right.

I'd helped create a space where being wrong didn't mean being less. It meant being a learner.

Now, here's the thing.

Parents have a much harder job than tutors do.

Tutors are paid to be attentive, patient, kind, and encouraging. We get to give children our undivided attention, often for just an hour at a time.

But parents?

Parents are often hanging on by a thread!

They work all day, run errands, prepare meals, shuttle kids to practices, tackle homework, organize all the stuff, get everyone bathed and into bed, and then wake up to do it all over again.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, they're supposed to muster up the patience to listen to a child struggle through a sentence they've already practiced three times.

I get it.

But here's what I hope we'll remember:

Our children need room to be wrong.

They need to know that mistakes won't cost them our approval. That struggling doesn't mean they're not smart. That learning something new is supposed to involve getting things wrong along the way.

Sometimes, all it takes is a gentle response:

"It's okay. I made mistakes like that when I was your age, too."

"You're still learning. I don't expect you to be perfect."

"Goodness, I'm not even close to perfect, and I've been at this a whole lot longer than you have!"

Or simply, "Let's figure it out together."

Those little moments matter.

So when your child stumbles over a word, misspells something, or gets frustrated because the answer doesn't come easily, resist the urge to rush, correct impatiently, or show disappointment.

Give them a little room to struggle. A little grace to get it wrong. And a whole lot of reassurance that they're loved just as they are.

Because here's what I know:

Children don't grow best where they're afraid of being wrong. They grow best where they feel safe enough to keep trying.

And sometimes, the most important thing we can teach a child isn't how to get the right answer.

It's how to be okay when they don't.